You ever read back something you wrote a while ago and think ‘yeah, bang on’.
I was feeling a bit disillusioned with running goals, not sure if time chasing or treadmill worshiping were right for me.
I’ve been ‘putting myself out there’ more recently and in the spirit of making sure I don’t make a tit of myself on the internet I re-read my old blog posts.
- I’ve become so much more self deprecating recently. Without those beginner gains I have been so down about every run.
- Sometimes I make me laugh.
- See 1 again.
It was clear that since settling into my life in Scotland again I was running less but also I was not blogging as much. There was a simple answer to this, I was no longer Nelly No Mates and being back in a country where people spoke my language I didn’t need to speak to a blog to feel better.
But by that same token because I wasn’t trying to make me feel better what was I doing? Was I falling into that social media trap of needing to show constant happiness and self improvement at all times. In truth, I think I had. Yes, I wanted to challenge myself but I had done so at the expense of cherishing just the emotions running brings.
Being back in a world I understood meant I was in a world I was now comparable to those around me. I am not comparable to those around me.
I am me. My pace is my own. My goals and loves and fist bumps every 0.1k were my own. My running is good regardless of how much someone else does.
My previous posts made that clear and along the way I had forgotten this.
This serves as a reminder to myself. Enjoy what you do and don’t become a slave to ‘public self improvement’. Blog because you like it, no other reasons.
Got that girl? Good. Now carry on and clock dem miles.
I wasnt sure I’d do today. I spent the day editing words and helping my sister, plus I didn’t feel like it. But miles don’t do themselves.
Change. Shoes. Wear that top I don’t even like. I don’t put on make up (having come to the realization Meg Ryan moments don’t happen in the Strathy gym). I stop caring about my crop trousers/long socks combo. I just need to do the miles.
I gym. I push. I give myself a higher minimum and a lower maximum and much of my time is spent thinking ‘eff it, just run’. I ignore my notifications, don’t change song, keep going.
The result is a faster time than yesterday:
So yay! But unfortunately my face is the colour of my top, kinda why I avoid wearing it.
Keep going eh?
I’m not big into new years resolutions, I never keep them. Facebook and instagram were littered with ‘new year, new you’ which just sounded a bit Chuckle Brothers if you ask me.
But I was in the fortunate position that if I was going to make a new years resolution I wouldn’t be starting from scratch. I wouldnt be starting out in cold January trying to learn 5k (good on those who do, you’re braver than I) I could start from a mental position of ‘I can do this’.
I’ve spent some time with someone who does triathlon. I was both impressed and intimidated, was I really ‘sporty’ enough to even have the running conversation. It felt a bit lame saying 5k when he was talking about casual half marathon.
But he was right, I was still going. Still off the couch, still managing it and keeping my laces strung.
I was never going to be a speed demon but I was going to have stamina.So I decided I was going to have to come up with a stamina based goal.
Luckily the Patron Saints of Scottish Drunken Singing, The Proclaimers, came up with the ideal workout plan.
I would run 500 miles.
Well, walk but still.
I didn’t set a firm timescale really, by the end of the yearish.
So today was my first 3.1miles of 500. My time is just comparable to my September time, but I was a bit fitter then.
Times, distances ah well. It’s going to be a long way but I look forward to it.
Jan 1st is always a write off, forget it. I spent the day curled up with a unicorn.
Now Jan 2nd? There’s a good day to start something positive.
It was a route of about 4.4k, 4.34k if we are being picky and my time is still pretty slow but I don’t walk as much as I used to and hey, I actually went outside in the cold (which I’ve avoided pretty much all of December)
The route was fun, around plenty greenery but all on road or concrete. It’s about -1 degree Celsius and tried to snow at one point, of which I complained bitterly being the wimp I am.
I tried out my new running trousers (a demure black with bright pink knees, some of the least gaudy of my collection) and they go the distance. Pretty chuffed.
Most importantly… I’ve avoided doing an essay for a few more hours. Guess I should get on that. 😫
Happy 2017. To more runs, races and beyond. 💙🏃
It’s been a manic few weeks. Lots of new experiences from dates to teaching, lesson planning to driving in the cold. It’s been a real mix and getting used to it has wrecked my running.
As in… I haven’t been doing it at all.
Feeling awful about myself and scared I’m ruining my years progress I was determined to get back into it.
Getting used to my school routine has helped and this week I’ve been able to plan ahead to the point I don’t need to work at night. So, no excuses.
Back to the gym.
It smelled of sweat, bread (my normal description for men’s aroma), and rubber tread. Noise. Light. Lack of air con. Yup, just how I left it.
That said all the ‘Im totally keeping up the gym’ September lot are gone. Instead the flirters, the posers and the youth have gone. Just working out, progress, drive and self determination. It’s inspiring.
My run game is po… ok it’s just meh. I can run still and distance at that but it’s not fast and I still go bright red. The first few minutes are hell as I try to remember how to run all over again; feet, hands, shoes, neck, where does it all go?
I managed 5k. I consider it my base minimum, no less allowed.
My goals are still to work on my 10k game enough to build up distance. Lofty maybe but if my running since April has taught me anything is that if you decide you are going to do it then you just will. You’ll find a way.
I didn’t realise how much I needed today’s run. I went back to running time not distance, counting minutes not kilometres. It went well, but that wasn’t what I realised I needed.
I have a mild case of Season Affected Disorder. It’s not bad, and mostly self diagnosed but I have noticed that the shorter the days and the longer I spend inside without sunlight I do get pretty upset, lethargic and demotivated. That just won’t do, so today was extra important.
I tried to stay off main roads and stuck to trees, grass and open air. It was wondeful. I saw so many birds!
Ethan Hawk, the hunter of the road.
The heron who flew away when I pulled out my camera.
Those flying south in search of heat.
Just being around them made me calmer, happier and thankful in a way I hadn’t realised I needed to be.
Then, suddenly! Poodle pups!
A pack of yapping, sniffing and bouncing ears. It came out of nowhere and made me laugh no end.
I suppose the moral of this post is get outside when you can, your body needs it. Mine did.
Enough time has passed that my legs and other muscles have forgiven me for my 10k efforts.
It was a blast. I donned my favorite pink trews, committed to a tshirt despite the fog and went at it.
The atmosphere was amazing. They said 10,000 people overall were going to take part! 10,000! All the shorts, lycra, water, sweat and efforts of so many gave the day such a buzz. I rooted for those around me, I wasn’t feeling awkward but rather part of a greater tide.
The route was good, all my old Glasgow stomping grounds and familiar roads seeing me through my home city. There was some exciting about going over the motorway, the Clyde and something magical about running along the river towards Glasgow Green. My home, my city, my life.
Now it’s finished it’s all been a bit surreal. I found typing this really hard just because I can’t belive its over. I talked about it, focused on it and dreamt about it so much that when it finished it was a bit… ‘now what?’
The week had been an odd one, full of events and chat but regardless the run kept getting me through. I had the rub coming. The run was soon. Yeab, but the run? When it ended it was a bit like giving myself time to think and in truth I don’t really like it. I prefer having a challenge.
My time wasn’t sterling.
But hey, having something to work on is good, right?
Now? Who knows what I’ll aim for. I have some lofty ideas about half marathons but who knows.
It’s important to take time to reflect, this seems like apt a one as any.
Please don’t look at that dismal time. Instead relish in the fact that it was 9k which is nearly 10k, which I’ll be running in 2 weeks.
It ached. I did not speed up at the end but instead trod on at little more than a jog. So much pain. So much tension in my legs. Was I going to be able to do 10?
OF COURSE YOU CAN EMMA, you’ve already shown you can do 9.
But inner voice. Its way over my predicted time, I was too cocky. I’ll never do 10k in 1hr 10mins.
Oh quiet. It doesn’t matter, any time is a personal best.
Ok, inner voice. You’re quite right. Keep slogging.
I want cake.
Right, enough from you inner voice. That attitude got us into this bother in the first place…
When I finished I air pumped and celebrated, much to the confusion of the other gym goers.
I stretched in deep thought. I can do this. I can do this…
10k is not a million miles away.
Today was an amazing 5k! It was the Muddy Run, Race for Life for Cancer Research UK in Bellahouston Park, Glasgow. Luckily Scotland kept it’s weather warmish and sunny as the ‘Cult of Yarn’ yomped through the mud!
We committed! We jumped, crawled, climbed and got totally filthy. My mates were troopers and I was so happy to be a cultist!
We did it! All for charity! Go team! I love you Zoe, Heather and Pip! 💙💚💛💜
Also, big thanks to my bestie Cia for tsking all the photos, without you we would have no record of our muddy faces.
I really enjoyed the fact 5k was not a mental challenge. It was a doable distance, something that I knew I could do. I understand that this race wasn’t running but even then it was a physical challenge. I felt it most on my arms, crawling under nets and the like took it’s toll on my untrained biceps. I really aught to work on them more.💪
Much in the vein of my last post, we have another loss. RIP Black New Balance trainers from January. It was wonderful serving with you all those miles. I salute you.
I’ve been putting off the moment but after a dead wire today I have to move on. It’s a sad moment. I lost a friend, one close to my chest. I have no photo of her in her heyday, much to my sadness. Though her colour faded she was supportive til the last mile. Goodbye my China pal. I could never have learned to run without you.
In case anyone was worried, its a bra. I finally accepted I had to chuck it. Nae danger. 😉
P.s. it used to be fluorescent pink….